A Parent's Graduation

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you . . . For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

It was a warm, rainy June evening. My husband and I, along with our youngest daughter, had just stepped outside of the auditorium where she had walked across the stage and received her High School diploma. On the surface, it was just another graduation complete with the students’ excitement for their future, celebration of their achievements, and nostalgia for the friends and memories they were leaving behind. But, lying just under the surface of the festivities, I experienced both the relief that my hands-on parenting had ended and the joy that, by God’s grace, our daughter had blossomed into a sweet yet focused young lady. Mingling with the other families after the ceremony, some of whom we had known for many years, I could see my emotions reflected in the faces of the other parents. Nevertheless, for my husband and me, this ceremony marked the end of our child rearing. As she is our fourth and last child, it was our graduation, too!
Although I had tried to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for this eventuality, the ceremony suddenly made my graduation a reality. Taking a deep breath as we stepped out the door, my eyes glanced upward to the distant horizon. Remnants of the sunset shone brightly against the dark rain clouds overhead. Three more steps forward and I felt a burden, like a heavy knapsack, suddenly lifting from my back. Stopping to take in the moment, I smiled in amazement, not expecting such an emotional response to my graduation. Was this a God-moment? Certainly! He removed the ‘burden’ of active parenting from my shoulders. Praise God! Our parent-child relationship will now grow into one that is more like “Let’s share life as equals.”
As I shared this story with others over the following weeks, I was still in awe that God allowed me to sense the change in my role with my children. However, I wondered, “What happened to that knapsack?” Did it just dissipate into nothingness like a deleted file on the computer? Two months later God revealed the answer: the knapsack did NOT dissolve. God is wearing it on HIS back! He is looking after my kids now - protecting them, guiding them, and drawing them closer to Him. Ah, another God-moment! God is so good!
Yes, I know from my experience with my other grown children, that adulthood is not an event but a process, yet, knowing that God is now their primary care-giver has given me a great sense of freedom to open my heart to whatever God has planned anew for me. His yoke is light. As He leads me, my heart sings, my steps lighten, and my eyes shine brighter. “Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you” (Psalm 55:22).

What Kind of Sacrifice?

“With Jesus’ help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of His name.” Hebrews 13:15 NLT

The very word “sacrifice” sends a chill up the collective backs of today’s modern society. The sacrifices that families made during the first half of the 20th century pale when contrasted with the pleasures enjoyed throughout the peace and prosperity of the following fifty years. That prosperity was fuelled by attitudes of “me first” and “I want it all”. Yet, despite these new cultural influences, families today still struggle with the issue of sacrifice.

Families have to make choices. In our case, once we started having children, my husband and I faced issues such as:
1. Should he work overtime to earn more money in order for us to have nicer things, or, should he arrive home at an earlier hour to help sow our values into our children’s hearts?
2. Should I give up my career aspirations in favour of being a constant influence in the lives of our children?
We chose family values over worldly accumulation: he would be home by dinnertime and I would be a stay-at-home mom. This decision began years of living on one income struggling to meet the daily needs of our children. As the years passed, I hung onto some dreams, but reluctantly gave up on others. Although during this time of sacrifice there were overwhelming blessings, I still felt a sense of grief over my perceived losses.

Today, as our four grown-up kids find their way in the world, I explore new territory in this next phase of life. Whereas, before, I served God and His purposes by staying home with the kids, now I serve Him in new and different ways. I respond to God’s promptings rather than those of my children. I dwell on God’s wisdom rather than the latest school report card. I meditate upon His Word rather than the soccer club’s newsletter. I hear His whispers of love and guidance rather than the piercing call of “Mom!”

This phase is about be-ing first, then do-ing. I concentrate on be-ing the soft, caring, and creative woman that He designed by acknowledging the gifts and passions He knit into me in my mother’s womb. Then out of this be-ing overflows the do-ing by which God spreads His blessings. Do I feel guilty about concerning myself with such heavenly things? Yes, but only a little. Now, I do not have to sacrifice my dreams, hopes, and aspirations because God has saved them for such a time as this and given them back to me.

Today, I give God the sacrifice of praise!
Lord, I praise you for creating me so marvelously! Lord, I praise you for the plans you have for me! Lord, I praise you for your grace and mercy and love! Amen!

Credentials

“For I was circumcised when I was eight days old, having been born into a pure-blooded Jewish family that is a branch of the tribe of Benjamin. So, I am a real Jew if there ever was one! What’s more, I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. And zealous? Yes, in fact, I harshly persecuted the church. And I obeyed the Jewish law so carefully that I was never accused of any fault.” Philippians 3:5, 6 NLT

The Apostle Paul's credentials are impressive! His family heritage and career success are impeccable. Pondering my credentials, I thought of my significant family heritage. Notable names in my genealogy include many kings of England: Edward I, II, III, Henry I, II, III, Alfred the Great, Edward the Elder, Edmund I, II, and Ethelred II. As well, included are Emperor Charlemagne, William the Conqueror (King of England and Duke of Normandy), and Joan Plantagenet. Further, my American ancestry includes a Governor, military officials, and even Roger Williams. He was the founder of the State of Rhode Island where separation of church and state was the norm unlike the other colonies, which continued the English tradition of state run religion. More recently in my ancestry, I lay claim to being the granddaughter of a highly decorated man who was a spy for the Allies during World War I. Although my family heritage may be significant, my career success is not. Therefore, in a contest of credentials, I cannot boast with self-importance like Paul!

Paul appears to be bragging to the Christians at Philippi about his qualifications as a preacher to reinforce the authority of his message. However, his next statement makes his point:

“I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (3:7, 8).

Paul emphasized that Christ's credentials were more meaningful to him than his earthly ones. He explains: “In Christ, I am blessed and God is blessed. I am adopted into His family. I receive gifts from Him including the Holy Spirit. My sins are forgiven and I am redeemed. I was chosen to be His even before He created the world. He has made me part of His overall plan. I am free from sin and am holy. I have victory over earthly powers. And, in Christ, I have hope and assurance of eternal life with Him in Heaven.” [Eph 1:3-14 paraphrased] Christ's actions grant us credentials in the spiritual realm. As part of Christ's family, we receive forgiveness, grace and hope today and eternity in heaven with God tomorrow.

Thank you, Jesus, for these blessings based on your everlasting credentials!

More Than A Manicure

“As a result of the King’s decree, Esther, along with many other young women, was brought to the King’s harem . . . and given the prescribed twelve months of beauty treatments.”
Esther 2:8-12 NLT

Twelve months of beauty treatments! Can you imagine that? This Bible passage mentions six months with oil of myrrh and another six with special perfumes and ointments. As bathing in ancient times was not a regular habit, people needed to apply sweet-smelling products, such as the sap-like substance myrrh, on their bodies and clothes so as not to smell offensively. In addition, Esther would have enjoyed many manicures, pedicures, hair treatments, and perhaps even swished mouthwash. For the finale, her date with the King, she had her choice of the finest clothing and accessories. All this, to win the latest ancient reality show, “Persia’s Next Queen.”

In characterizing Esther’s beauty, Charles Swindoll, in Esther, a Woman of Strength and Dignity, includes a picture of her inner qualities as well. Through valuable lessons gained from Mordecai, the older cousin who raised her, Esther developed grace-filled charm, unusual self-restraint, a teachable spirit, an unselfish modesty, winsomeness, and respect for authority.* Quite a list! As I contemplated these character traits, I felt God nudging me with a challenge: focus for one week on an inner quality of myself that needs treatment from God. Well, I knew immediately what needed “enhancing” – my attitude of contentment.

It was October 2008; right in the middle of global stock market and economic “turmoil” and “volatility.” (These words meaning, “All my investments are rapidly disappearing!”) What should I do? Wait it out? The stock market “historically” comes out of a major decline with even greater gains. What if history does not repeat? Or, should I be calmed by the fact that I am investing with long-term goals in mind? Nevertheless, what if the value dives so low, even the long-term upswing does not make up the difference? Or, should I trust God for retirement funding, since His promise to provide is unbreakable? The level of my contentment wavered as news of each day brought with it more doubt and uncertainty.

As the market value of my investments plummeted each day that week, I leaned heavily on God’s name, Jehovah-Jireh, “I AM God who provides.” I needed to be content with God’s promise of provision. By week’s end, God’s gentle scalpel worked as I worried less and increased my trust in God. Content, now, to focus on His daily provision just like the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:11-13:

“I have learned to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do anything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.”

Just as Esther diligently prepared to win the King’s affection, I, too, prepare to meet my King, God in Heaven. Thank you, Lord, for the daily beauty treatments on my inner qualities. May their results honour you and be a blessing to those you place on my path. Amen.

*Charles R. Swindoll, Esther, a Woman of Strength and Dignity (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson), 1997, pp. 45-50.

Pushing Buttons

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1 NLT

Imagine this: you are sitting in your car waiting at a red light. You look around and notice some pedestrians approaching the corner. One pushes the “walk” sign button once. Another person prepares to cross in the other direction and pushes the control button several times. Which one will get the “walk” sign first?

Or, this: you step up to an information desk and read the sign, “Ring the Bell For Service.” How many times do you need to “ring” it before the clerk appears to assist you?

Do we get a faster response by pushing the button more frequently? In some cases, yes; when expecting a person to respond. However, if the multiple rings sound demanding, the clerk may get angry and may not be very helpful. In other cases, no; one touch is enough for an electronic response, for instance, on cell phones, keyboards, and security keypads. And crossing the street? One push is all it takes. That immediately sends an electrical impulse to the timer mechanism and lets it know to put the “walk” sign on when the light changes, at its programmed time. Pushing the “walk” button several times does NOT make the light turn sooner! Frequently, response time from a machine is predictable, whereas, from a person, it is not.

As I reached out to push yet another button today, I thought about the speed at which God answers prayer in response to the repetition of our requests. How does the speed of His response compare to people and electronics? First, I looked to the Bible for answers, finding many verses on prayer, some instructional and, others, actual prayers. There are short prayers (Nehemiah 5:19) and long prayers (John 17). Prayers for provision (Psalm 23), guidance (Psalm 25:4, 5), and protection (Ps 64). Prayers for others (Ephesians 1:15-23) and for self (Eph 6:20). Prayers for wisdom (1 Kings 3:9) and salvation (Ps 106:4). And prayers of confession (2 Samuel 24:10, Ps 51). Verses also instruct us to: “Keep on praying” (I Thessalonians 5:17) and “don’t babble” (Matthew 6:7); pray by yourself (Matt 6:6) and pray in groups (Acts 1:14). Sometimes the examples and instructions seem contradictory, but with further study, one learns that there is a time and place for each method of prayer.

Next, I remembered my own experience with God answering my prayers. The other day I had a time for a ‘bullet prayer’ (a very quick short one). I was at the library reading microfilms, looking for a name on a ship’s passenger list for our family history project. It is very tedious work and hard on the eyes – always scanning the pages right to left as they move across the screen. I had come to the end of the reel without finding the name but I had other evidence convincing me that it must be on this particular reel. With a sigh, I decided to have another look and prayed: “please let me find this name.” I started fast reversing, stopping every now and again, looking to get back to the place where I thought the name should be. And – there it was! The reel stopped right on the page with the name I was looking for! Hooray! Thank you, God, for such a quick response! I only had to ask once. Although it was a small request, God favoured me with His quick reply. Unfortunately, there are other requests I have made for a long time, repeatedly, that have not been answered, yet. For these, I add the prayer of patience!

Finally, I conclude that just as the buttons we push here on earth have different response times, so does God answer our prayers with varying swiftness. He responds according to His will (Matt 6:10) AND to what our heart attitude is (Ps 139:1) for “your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him” (Matt 6:8). Even though God knows what we need, He still wants us to ask so that we may come to know Him better as He reveals His goodness to us through His answers. In this way, we grow to trust and love Him more every day.

Lord, I know that you have the power to answer all our prayers and the wisdom to provide what is right for us. I thank you that you want a relationship with us; that we can ask for what we need and want BUT that you will give us what is best and what fits into your ‘big picture’. Thank you that your responses are not generated mechanically but are sent with love, wisdom, grace and mercy. Help us; help me to accept your timing with appreciation and humility! Amen.

Don't Touch That!

“Do not take any of the things set apart for destruction, or you yourselves will be completely destroyed, and you will bring trouble on all Israel. Everything made from silver, gold, bronze, or iron is sacred to the Lord and must be brought into his treasury.” Joshua 6:18-19 NLT

Very clear instructions, indeed! The Israelites were on their final phase of attack against the city of Jericho and these words, spoken through Joshua, were God’s reminder of His rules of engagement. The attack went well: the walls of Jericho fell and the Israelites destroyed everything as God commanded. Or, so it seemed. However, the Bible reveals a secret that only God knew: “But Israel was unfaithful concerning the things set apart for the Lord. A man named Achan had stolen some of these things, so the Lord was very angry with the Israelites” (7:1). In the meantime, Joshua sent a small army of three thousand soldiers to conquer the next town, called Ai, but they were soundly defeated. Dismayed and confused at the loss, Joshua begged God to explain what had gone wrong. The Lord answered that, “Israel has sinned and broken my covenant. They have stolen the things that I commanded to be set apart for me . . . and lied about it and hidden the things” (7:11).

The next morning, Joshua called out the whole nation of Israel and, through a process of elimination, Achan was identified as the guilty one. He quickly confessed telling them exactly what he took and where he hid the items. Joshua’s men retrieved the stolen goods and lay them out before him. Joshua declared the punishment: “The Lord will now bring trouble on you”: Achan and his family were immediately stoned by all the Israelites. One decision by one ordinary man brought significant consequences upon his whole family. That day, his family line ended. God showed that He would not tolerate disobedience. What a sad mistake it was not to take God’s commands seriously.

Whoa! Time to take a solemn pause. This one ill-conceived decision resulted in many dire consequences;
- The Lord became angry;
- The whole nation of Israel was deemed unfaithful by association;
- Thirty-six soldiers were killed in the defeat at Ai leaving their families without the breadwinner;
- Achan’s own family members suffered the ultimate penalty;
- There was no second chance for Achan; and
- All the Israelites were involved in the stoning. That was over one million people! Each one had a turn at retribution.
Why did Achan’s family also have to suffer for his sin? The Bible does not answer that one specifically but, in ancient times, it was common for a family to prosper or suffer as did their leader. They were guilty by association and the extent of the sin needed to be purged. Sinning is serious business. Not only do we separate ourselves from God, but also we potentially ‘infect’ others around us.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Psalm 139:23, 24). Lord, forgive me for rationalizing that some of my sins are trivial and without consequences. Help me to realize that no matter what rating I place on my sins, they still create a chasm between you and me. Thank you, Father God, for the sacrifice of your son, Jesus, on the cross that allows forgiveness of sins, freedom from their penalties and reconciliation with you. All my praise goes to you, Lord! (Ephesians 1:6, 7) Amen.

The Significance of an Ordinary One: Rahab

“For the LORD your God is the supreme God of the heavens above and the earth below.” Joshua 2:11 NLT

After escaping from the clutches of the Egyptian Pharaoh forty years earlier, the Israelites had ended their desert wandering and were preparing for their next step. Camped on the east side of the Jordan River eyeing the Promised Land on the other side, they listened carefully to the instructions of their new leader, Joshua. In this story of the taking of Jericho, several characters play important roles. Among them, one ordinary woman stood out from the crowd, making a significant impact on her family for generations.

The Ordinary One:
Before crossing the Jordan, Joshua sent two spies to reconnoiter in and around Jericho. Arriving at the house of Rahab, a local prostitute, they discreetly obtained the information Joshua needed. However, someone overheard their conversation and notified the King of Jericho who promptly had Rahab questioned. She, knowing that “the Israelite God was the supreme God of the heavens and earth,” lied, sending the King’s men away to look for the Israelites elsewhere. Then, hurrying back to the spies, she made them promise, because of her help, to save her whole family from destruction when their army came to capture Jericho. Upon promising to do so, Rahab showed them a secret exit from the city so that they could return safely to Joshua with their report. (Joshua 2)

The Significance:
One week later, on the day that God would hand over Jericho to the Israelites for destruction, Joshua included in his instructions for the assault, “Only Rahab the prostitute and the others in her house will be spared, for she protected our spies.” As a result of recognizing the one true God, she, “her father, mother, brothers, and all the other relatives . . . were moved to a safe place near the camp of Israel” (6:17, 22, 23). Rahab’s beliefs and actions saved all the members of her family.

My Reflection:
Amazing! Rahab’s convictions saved dozens of people. Further, not only did Rahab’s family survive the Israelite onslaught, she is listed in the genealogy of Jesus! One ordinary, yet brave, woman made a significant difference! Thinking about this story, I am in awe of her courage to stand alone in her convictions. I wonder if any decision I have made has had such a similar impact on my family. Perhaps only time will tell. Although my family has not been under threat from an invading army, we are under daily spiritual attacks by the evil one who “prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Knowing this, I must “take a firm stand against him, and be strong in [my] faith” (5:9). Without doubt, even though I am also an ordinary one, committing my life to Jesus, praying for the salvation of my family members, and standing firm in my faith are significant actions in God’s eyes. Lord, I pray that in all situations I will make decisions that honour you, thereby allowing your blessings to flow upon my family and the generations that follow!

Fears and Obstacles

“But the Lord is with us! Don’t be afraid of them!” Number 14:9

Soon after the Lord led the Hebrews out of Egypt, He brought them to the border of Canaan. There He instructed Moses to send twelve spies into “the land I am giving to Israel” (Num 13:2) who were to return with a report describing the inhabitants, towns, and crops. Forty days later, the scouts’ report included not only positive descriptions of fertile land and bountiful crops but also fear-filled tales of well-fortified towns and a people of great strength and height. While ten of the spies encouraged the Hebrews to retreat to Egypt, the other two, Joshua and Caleb, countered with, “but the Lord is with us! Don’t be afraid of them!”

What courage Joshua and Caleb showed in the face of tremendous opposition. As witnesses to the power of God through the miraculous rescue of the Hebrews from slavery in Egypt, they knew in their hearts that, with God on their side, they need not be afraid of the task before them. The fears expressed by the ten spies were only valid from humanity’s perspective not from God’s omnipotent vantage point.

Reading this story reminds me of the many times I have come up against obstacles. Frequently I assume they are signs to go in another direction just like the ten spies. Other times, I know He wants me to put my fears and concerns away and trust Him as I move forward through the obstacles knowing He will be with me. How do I know which way to go? I pray more; listen and watch for God to give further indications; and keep reading my Bible.

At a time during my Bible College studies, I came up against more and more challenging requirements for the assignments. I struggled between giving up and pressing on. However, through prayer, I sensed God telling me to keep going, and with encouragement from friends, I knew that God would wonderfully inspire me to complete these assignments. In doing so, I would increase my personal testimony of God’s power working in me to overcome these and other earthly obstacles.

For their faithfulness, Caleb and Joshua entered the Promised Land forty years later. I pray that by looking past my obstacles and fears and by trusting God, I will be blessed and rewarded as were these two courageous spies!

Roller Coaster - A Meditation of Psalm 42

Introduction: Having experienced life’s roller coaster of emotions, the psalmist shares the sadness and the solution and I reflect upon my own rides with depression and recovery.

1. The Psalmist’s Sadness: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, ‘Where is your God?’”

Me: I, too, have felt verbal arrows flung at me from others who do not know God the way I do. How my souls thirsts for God’s protection.

The Psalmist’s Solution: “These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the processions to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.”

Me: I, too, when suffering under other’s doubts remind myself to focus on God’s goodness to raise my spirits above the condemnation of my enemies. I join with others in joyful praise and worship.

2.The Psalmist’s Sadness: “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?”

Me: In grade 11, I waved the white flag of surrender to my parents’ discipline after three years of teenage rebellion. However, at the defeat, I became depressed. Why can I not do what I want? Why can you not accept me as I am?

The Psalmist’s Solution: “Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

Me: If only I had accessed this solution to my teenage depression.

3.The Psalmist’s Sadness: “My soul is downcast within me.”

Me: At age 21, I spent the summer working out of town, away from the love of my life. Depression overcame me.

The Psalmist’s Solution: “I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar.”

Me: If only I had turned to God, even while in the far away place, to receive His compassion and love.

4.The Psalmist’s Sadness: “Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.”

Me: After the birth of my second child, postpartum depression struck me like large waves crashing on the beach. The oft-repeated ad on TV and radio chanted, “I need a vacation,” but it did not matter if I needed a vacation because we could not afford it and my husband could not fathom the depths of the breakers engulfing me.

The Psalmist’s Solution: “By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life.”

Me: If only I could have recognized God’s song in my life back then.

5.The Psalmist’s Sadness: “I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” My bones suffer moral agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?”

Me: I was about to turn 40 and became deeply depressed again: feeling useless, incapable of doing anything right or even accomplishing anything at all. Nevertheless, I was a Christian then – where was my God? I thought Christians were always happy.

The Psalmist’s Solution: “Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

Me: Finally, I put my hope in God! I prayed, studied His Word, and sang songs of praise. Slowly, with medicine, counseling, others praying for me, and making time each week for creative projects, I climbed back to mental health. I praised my Savior and my God, for I knew then that He had not forsaken me.

Conclusion: The Psalmist’s practice of turning to God every time he felt discouraged, forgotten, or oppressed is one that I am actively following. Since that last bout of depression, turning to God is a regular activity for me in order to avoid sinking into despair again. At the slightest hint of a negative mood, I now turn to Scripture, listen to worship music and give thanks to God to help me lift up my heart and soul to Him. I focus on God, not my problems. The Psalmist’s pattern is now my pattern for maintaining mental and emotional health. Today, my emotions are less of a roller coaster and more of a ripple in a pond.

Lord, I pray for my readers who suffer from depression that, amongst their collection of coping habits, they will follow the Psalmist’s pattern of repeatedly turning to you, of putting their hope in you, and of praising you for being the God of their life. Lord, thank you that, as our souls thirst for you, you pour out your love upon us, quenching our every need. Amen.